


I Can't Help but Resent You

by Anonymous



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends With Benefits, I love Tony but like, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Recreational Drug Use, This is completely self indulgent, Tony is kinda an ass in this Im sorry, Unhealthy Relationships, this is like sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 23:13:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20536205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Peter Parker wasn't dumb. Did he hope something more would come out of hooking up with him? Absolutely. Was he surprised when nothing more came of it? No, just disappointed. It wasn’t like anything between Peter or Tony changed. They’d been friends while Tony was still with Steve so it wasn’t anything new to hang out with him or talk to him daily. They did that anyways, just when Steve and Tony broke up Peter somehow ended up in Tony’s bed. He knew he was being used, that he was just a substitute for Steve in Tony’s life right now. He knew that but sometimes he liked to pretend.





	I Can't Help but Resent You

**Author's Note:**

> This is really going to scream self insert bc like it is and this is a real experience I'm going through so like I really just needed to write all this shit out I'm sorry.

Peter knew getting involved with Tony wasn’t going to lead to anything. He truly did he never really thought any differently. Did he hope something more would come out of hooking up with him? Absolutely. Was he surprised when nothing more came of it? No, just disappointed. It wasn’t like anything between Peter or Tony changed. They’d been friends while Tony was still with Steve so it wasn’t anything new to hang out with him or talk to him daily. They did that anyways, just when Steve and Tony broke up Peter somehow ended up in Tony’s bed. 

In Tony’s defense. Peter was the one to come onto him. They had hung out the whole week and Peter was being a good friend listening and giving advice to his heartbroken friend. Peter was hoping to just take his mind off somethings and one night after a party Peter ended up going to Tony’s room drunk as fuck. Tony of course let him in, very high and amused at drunk Peter’s ramblings, he only looked the tiniest bit surprised when Peter ended up in his lap. 

“I shouldn’t, Steve would be so mad at me” Tony had said, his hands roaming Peters body in a way that completely contradicted his statement. 

“Fuck Steve. Just let go for a second and enjoy yourself. I miss seeing you smile” Peters arms rested around Tony’s shoulders and he let Tony make the first move. 

Once their lips connected all thoughts of Steve left the room. Tony stood up, carrying Peter to the bed. Peter’s mind couldn’t help but point out how perfect it felt to have Tony in between his legs and started grinding down on Tony’s now very obvious erection. Helping each other get out of their clothes as quickly as possible they both wasted no time in getting right into it. Tony left briefly to grab his lube but once he had it he had a finger poking at Peter’s entrance. 

Peter whined, grinding down on the finger, begging Tony for more. Tony made quick work of adding more lube and more fingers, nipping at Peter’s skin and moving his fingers in a way that had Peter desperate for more. Probably a bit too soon, Tony slicked up his dick and started pressing against Peter’s entrance. The alcohol clouding Peter’s mind helped take away the fact it stung and the quick prep would leave him feeling it in the morning for sure. Right now though, Peter wanted it hard and he wanted it fast. Moving his legs to wrap around Tony’s he pulled the other boy closer to him and reached up to pull him down into a kiss. 

Tony started to move after that and the rest of the night Peter only remembers in pieces. On his hands and knees one moment, riding Tony the next. He doesn’t remember ever falling asleep or even when Tony stopped fucking into his ass. He remembers the immense pleasure and then waking up a sticky mess and in a wet spot that was definitely from him last night. 

They didn’t talk about it after. Peter didn’t want to bring it up and Tony never brought it up to him first. Peter could almost act like it never happened but it did and he had loved it. He wanted to do it again when he was sober and could fully remember the details this time. Turns out, Peter just had to wait until the next time him and Tony hung out, which was the next day. 

After that first night Tony and Peter were always together. Not always fucking, sometimes they’d just hang out since they were of course still really good friends. They’d also smoke together a lot, again nothing new Peter just found himself doing it more often than he usually did since he now was with Tony who smoked every day. Other times though, you could find Peter with Tony’s dick shoved down his throat or up his ass. Tony always initiated these encounters. Peter knowing he still wasn’t fully over Steve, didn’t want to push anything too far and let Tony take the lead. 

Peter wasn’t dumb. He knew he was being used, that he was just a substitute for Steve in Tony’s life right now. He knew that but sometimes he liked to pretend. Tony wasn’t big on being super physical after sex and Peter was. He wanted to be held after at least for a few minutes. It helped him relax and come down a bit. He always went into his head during sex and liked reassurance that he was good after, that his partner was satisfied. After the first few times of Tony leaving him in the bed to go to his desk and roll a joint, or take a hit of his bong Peter spoke up about it. Tony teased him a bit about it but complied for the most part. The first time Tony stayed in bed after sex and had Peter curl up next to him Peter felt like it was all worth it. All the conflicting emotions, all the dancing around, all the secrecy of their arrangement. 

Things carried on like that until a week before school let out for the summer. Peter had gone to Tony’s room after class like usual and saw Tony there looking sheepish. Peter felt his heart break when Tony told him Steve had been over and they were talking again. Peter doesn’t know why his heart broke that day. It wasn’t even like he was the only one Tony had slept with during the split. Tony had made sure to let him know he wasn’t the only one, but he was his favorite. Peter was foolish to think that counted for something. 

“I guess this is it then right? I mean Steve hates me because we’re friends, so should I expect my number to be blocked?” Peter said, trying to make it sound like a joke but failing miserably. 

“Peter, no of course not. I would never let Steve do that. You’re my best friend and if Steve thinks that’s going to change because he’s back in my life he’s wrong” Peter isn’t convinced but he doesn’t show it, letting Tony pull him into a hug. 

It feels like a goodbye. They both know it is as well. 

Or so Peter thought. They both went home for the summer and kept in touch. Tony was basically calling Peter every day just to talk and catch up, like they didn’t text each other constantly as well. One day Peter mentions how he’s going to start selling his nudes and the doors open. Tony starts telling Peter he wants to fuck him so bad. How he misses Peter. It’s confusing and it hurts when Peter hears it. The first time Tony says it Peter reminds him of Steve and after he hangs up cries to himself because he knows if Tony was in the same room Peter wouldn’t have been strong enough to say no to him. 

Tony keeps making small comments every now and then. Peter brushes them off. Brings up Steve again every time. He refuses to be a side chick. He deserves better than that. 

For the most part though, he and Tony keep a pretty good friendship. Peter always feels himself fill with pride whenever Tony calls him his best friend. It’s one of the best feelings in the world and Peter knows. He knows he’s in way too deep, he’s already drowning. Which is why when he got a call from Tony, crying, saying that Steve and him were over for good Peter had no idea how he should feel. Part of him was happy because Steve and Tony were toxic for each other and Tony could do better and deserved better. The other part of him though was feeling like shit because the only thought he had when he first heard Tony say it was over was that they could finally start hooking up together again.

It was mid July when Tony and Peter made plans to meet up. There was no question as to what the meet up entailed. They both knew they were going to fuck when they saw each other. Peter had sent plenty of pictures and videos to Tony since the breakup and Tony had even sent a few back. They shared porn links, talked about their kinks and made it very clear they wanted to sleep with each other again. 

When Peter was on the train to Tony’s he could only think about how unhealthy this whole thing was but he’d take it while he still has it. 

Sex with Tony was always good. It wasn’t always great but it was nice and Peter liked to feel wanted which played a huge part in him sleeping with Tony in the first place. Tony always made Peter feel like he was special and wanted and like nothing Peter could do or say would ever be to weird. Which is how Peter had gotten the courage to call Tony Daddy and ask him to choke him during sex. 

Tony didn’t even wait until after sex to tell Peter that he had started talking to one of his old ex’s again. Pepper. Pepper had never liked Steve and apparently the two had issues with each other in the past. It made Peter slip into a not so great mindset during sex, he played it up for Tony, made it seem like everything was alright. He knew when to moan, when to whisper Daddy, when to offer his neck for Tony’s hand. 

Tony didn’t even stay in bed with Peter afterwords. _It’s okay_, Peter thought, _It’s been a while he probably doesn’t even remember. _

Peter would call the feeling subdrop, but in reality he was just really depressed and using sex as a way to punish himself for something he had no control over. 

Tony knew something was off and apologized profusely to Peter throughout the day. Peter always asked for what, half wondering what Tony would say half hoping he actually meant it. Tony would just shrug and say that Peter just seems upset and he wasn’t when he came earlier. 

Peter wishes he wasn’t such an open book. Maybe then he’d believe Tony, but he doesn’t. Tony knows it’s about Pepper and so does Peter. Jealousy is never a good look on anyone, especially someone with no right to be jealous in the first place. 

After that trip their relationship changes considerably. Peter is less open to Tony, Tony tries to act like nothing’s changed. It becomes painfully obvious when Peter’s texts to Tony which usually get answered in seconds get left unread for hours. The facetimes get less and less and sometimes straight up denied when Peter tries to call. It’s a foreign feeling, not being able to talk to Tony. Peter had grown so used to it, so comfortable that without it he felt like there was a huge piece of him missing. Peter tried not to think about the snaps Tony would send or post on his story, how he was in a car that wasn’t his or a bed that Peter now knew for a fact weren’t his. 

One night Peter tried calling Tony again. Staring at his phone, hoping he’d reply. It had been a rough day at work and Peter just really wanted to talk to Tony. To hear his voice even for just a second. The call doesn’t go through, Peter’s disappointed but not surprised. He never is anymore with Tony. He does get a text this time though, a rare occurrence these days. 

**Tony:** I’m not home are you okay?

**Peter:** No, not really, who’s with you I really just wanted to call and rant to you for like 5 minutes. 

**Tony:** Just Pepper but I can’t facetime you. 

  
**Peter:** Why, I don’t care if she hears about it, it’s literally just about a customer at work I don’t feel like typing it out right now. 

**Tony:** I said no Pete. I don’t want to facetime right now while I’m with her. 

Peter didn’t even bother replying. He knew his place now. Tony made it clear. 

Peter wishes after that night he had stopped texting Tony. Stopped trying to call. But he didn’t and Tony didn’t always hang up on him sometimes he answered but when he did it was always to get something from Peter. Whether that be advice, nudes or just some company. Everything was on Tony’s terms. Peter hated it but couldn’t bring himself to stop giving in every time Tony called. 

“You’re using me Tony. You can’t tell me you’re not because I can’t believe that. I feel like shit Tony. I’m literally just someone to hold the spot in your bed until you get back with one of your ex’s. Do you know how shitty that makes me feel?” Peter says one night, trying to make sure his voice stayed even despite the fact tears were streaking down his face. 

“I’m so sorry Peter I never wanted you to feel like that. You mean so much to me you’re way more than that. You’re my best friend you’ll never stop being my best friend no matter who’s in the picture I promise you that”. 

Like everything else Tony had told him since the start it was a lie. Peter should’ve seen the lie for what it was then. Hindsight can be a real bitch. 

They continue to text throughout the rest of the summer. Tony moves in a week before Peter and when Peter moves in he texts Tony asking if he wants to hang out. Throughout the day Peter continues to look at his phone, confused as to why Tony wasn’t responding. Just last night Tony was saying how he was so excited to see Peter again. 

It hurt but it wouldn’t be the first time Tony had ignored his texts. Peter only got pissed when he heard from Nat that Tony’s ex Pepper had been staying with Tony in his room the whole week he had been moved in. She doesn’t even go here. Peter tried to hide his hurt and shock. He knows him and Tony hadn’t talked as much as they used to but he didn’t think Tony would tell other people stuff without at least telling Peter about it as well. 

Peter was over feeling like this. He was being used and manipulated by Tony and treated like absolute shit. He was over it. 

The next day he saw Tony and frowned when the other boy opened his arms for a hug. 

“Guess it’s convenient for you to come see me now. What did Pepper leave already?” Tony wrapped his arms around Peter who kept his firmly crossed. 

“Don’t be like that Petey I’ve missed you” 

“Not enough to answer my texts though. Really feeling the love here Tony” 

Tony seems to think nothing is wrong between them. Brushing off Peter’s comment. Because it only matters if Tony gets hurt. Not if he hurts Peter. It’s always been that way and Peter was just now seeing Tony for his true colors. It made him kind of sick to think about how he blatantly ignored and pushed away the signs. 

It’s hard at first. Peter’s strong but he’s also hopeless. Tony doesn’t answer a single text Peter sends but talks to him like everything's okay between the two of them. So when Tony calls him at 3am the first Thursday of the new school year, well Peter was hoping that it meant things were back to normal. 

Tony barely stretched him that night. Peter actually tore and started bleeding, it hurt but Tony didn’t seem to notice and Peter really wanted to pretend that everything around him wasn’t falling apart. Peter didn’t stay the night, he never usually did. 

The lack of care or concern to Peter’s person was the last straw. Tony can play with Peter’s emotions all he wants but the complete lack of care to Peter during sex, making him bleed. That was the last straw. He didn’t even get Peter off after shooting off inside of him in less than 5 minutes. It became easier to get over him after that. 

Peter barely spoke to him. Texting him only about class, texts that still got mostly ignored. Peter was really serious this time about getting over his thing for Tony. Someone who can care so little about someone and claim they’re best friends. Tony was beyond manipulative and never cared for Peter at the start.

It still hurts when Peter sees him in class or talks to him at dinner. Peter still gets jealous when he sees the pictures of Tony and Pepper together. It hurts worse when people ask if Tony told him about things that had happened between him and Steve and Peter has to explain that Tony doesn’t actually talk to him at all anymore. It hurts because last year Peter would have been there when it had happened or been the first person Tony called. 

Now though they were practically strangers and Peter, though he resented it slightly, knew this was for the best. Tony was never going to love him the way Peter wanted him to and honestly, Peter didn’t even want him to love him like that anymore. He was getting over him and hopefully soon he’d officially feel nothing towards Tony Stark.  


**Author's Note:**

> I promise you I love Tony. I just gave a speech in one of my classes about why Iron Man is my favorite Avenger and it was like 3 minutes long of me praising and spreading my love for Tony Stark. It's just when I thought of what characters to use these ones just came to mine


End file.
